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Let’s start with searching the database(s). Always search the database(s) early on in your contact with your prospective daters. Search more than once. Do not just search when you first have contact. You may want to search on intervals to see if anything new pops up later. You can choose to let your prospective date know you are doing this, or not. Whatever you feel is appropriate and you are comfortable with.
While searching is an important part of this service, putting information in the databases is extremely useful. Not only useful for others but yourself, as well. Let’s look at some examples of useful records/posts:
- “Been talking with xyzdater for awhile online. Seems nice enough. Would like to move to next level of talking on the phone.”
a.) This lets others know you are chatting with this prospective date.
b.) It hopefully prompts others who search “xyzdater” to post a record of their experience(s) with them.
c.) The reader will know that you have indeed been in contact with that profile because there is no way to “troll” id’s on our site.
- Let people know you are going to meet xyzdater! Maybe something like “I am meeting xyzdater this evening at beer o’clock (insert time).” You can give the location of where you are meeting, or not. There are good and bad to giving the location. The choice is up to you. It should be a very public place, regardless. Never meet in private surroundings like their home, etc!
a.) Useful for you because you have a record of the meeting. (You can find all of the records you create in the “Posts” tab by clicking on “My Posts.”
b.) Useful for others who search xyzdater. They may find out that they are not the only one xyzdater is seeing, or talking with.
c.) Others may be prompted to post their experience(s) so you can make a more informed judgement.
- Follow up after the meeting and post how it went. Maybe something like “Met xyzdater for drinks and a bite to eat. Very nice and funny but they lacked table manners. Huge pet peeve of mine. Not sure if I will do it, again.”
a.) Here you will check “yes” met in person. You will then be prompted to answer if they look like their pics. Answer yes or no.
b.) Again, you have a record of this meeting in your account.
c.) Maybe go through your records on occasion and re-search those profiles. See if anything new pops up. Could be a way to check your instincts.
- Public safety announcements. Literally. This next record is not an example. It is an actual record created by one of our OnDaSh members:
“Spent most of his life in and out of prison. Out for less than a year. Google his name and arrest records in Tennessee and several mug shots will pop up. I dated him for about a month. He would make me nervous like he had a temper. He may be using drugs, I’m not sure.”
a.) This is very useful information! Without Tennessee in the Google search the information may very well not show up in the results!
b.) This is an EXCELLENT example of how to get your information out there, safely. The member did not share any personal information about the person in the record. You would have to know, or have contact with, this person to know what to Google. The member remains anonymous.
- Another useful record to warn others of possible player/scammer. Again, this next record is not an example. It is an actual record created by one of our OnDaSh members:
“strange. this guy had new to miami in profile florida as location not that long ago Now says alabama and new to decatur???? Same pic same guy. I read somewhere on here that the profile id in databases dont change even if change name or location. At best he moves alot!! I now fave everyone I contact with and pay attention. Just a heads up”
a.) Again, EXCELLENT example of how to give, as they put it, a heads up.
b.) Also giving a useful tip to other online daters. Faving profiles is excellent way to keep up with changes.
c.) The member remains anonymous.
Based on this last example record we now suggest you include city/state in your records’ write-ups. Scammers/players will change their location.
Make sure you check the Wanted page (open to the public). If you, or you know of someone, who has been a victim of a crime by someone you/they met online you can file a complaint with the FBI at this link: Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). Again, post it on here, as well, to warn others of the scammer/player!
Check the Safety Tips (open to the public) page, on occasion. We will make updates as times and trends change.
Read/participate in the weekly blogs. Read the News, Articles, and Tips pages. Check out the For Fun page. We add new recipes and fun stuff, on occasion, and provide links to others.
***Remember to NEVER post personal or identifying information of ANY kind about yourself or your prospective date!!***